Chapter 1, Part 2: Sweet Dreams

"As you may already know, my name is Molasses Macchiato."

Molly stared across her desk, keeping a cool demeanor despite the trembling nerves she harbored deep beneath her skin. She had every reason to be nervous; these people were here interviewing for a job they hadn't requested. Not intentionally, at least.

They had all been looking for work of some kind, though--they'd just never applied to work at Bubble Buzz... not that anyone had ever been given the option to. Bubble Buzz's employment qualifications had been a mystery--until now.

She took a deep breath and cleared her throat. "I know you didn't apply to work here, and I know this isn't the job you'd ideally apply for, but that doesn't matter. I hand picked you from a list of candidates, for reasons I'll disclose after I ask you a few brief questions. Understand: I'm not asking you to work at a coffee shop. I'm asking you to work for me.'

"Now," Molasses continued, flipping idly through a few papers in front of her. "First: why don't you tell me a little about yourself."

"Well... My name is Paprique Le Pepper. I am a writer... Was. Was a writer."

"I'm Honeydew Melopepo! My family and I moved to Sugar Valley a couple of months ago, and so far I think I like it here except for the weather, it doesn't really get a lot of rain and I kinda miss all my friends back at Twizzlerbrook, but--oh, sorry. I guess that doesn't matter, huh!'

"Anyways, I'm a junior in High School, I love stage productions... ya know, the spotlight, the audience, performing. I'm also a straight-A student, of course--not that my parents would tolerate anything less than that, if you get what I mean! Personally, I don't think it's worth doing anything unless you can be good at it--and trust me, I am always good."

"Kind of a weird question, isn't it? You're the one who asked me here for an interview, obviously you already know who I am. If you want to know something, you're gonna have to be way more specific, hotcakes... but first, why'd you hand pick me? Was it the looks? The brains?"

"I'm the one asking the questions, Mr. Moss. Your questions will be answered in due time."

"Call me Lichen. I ain't quite a 'mister' yet, toots."

"Your office is very strange. Tiki. Weird... You some sort of aborigine?"

"I'm from the Cocoabean Islands. Hyacinth--please, sit down."

"Here's a pretty standard customer service question: Let's say you make a beverage for a customer, and they tell you you made it wrong... What would you do?"

"I would make them another one... obviously..."

"Make them a beverage wrong?! Are you kidding me?! I used to make espressos for my mother all the time, I've had so much practice it would be practically impossible for me to mess up. I'm pretty sure they'd have to be crazy to dislike my coffee. The most obvious reason would be that they're trying to score a freebie, at which point I'd have to tell them to leave because NO WAY am I catering to beggars and whiners!"

"Tell 'em to stick it up their @#&$! Nah nah--nah I'm kiddin', don't give me that look! Seriously, I'd probably just give them a coupon for a free one or something. If they don't like my coffee, they can just come back later and annoy some other barista for it. No reason to do it myself."

"Scalding hot coffee... into their face..."

"So, tell me: why are you currently looking for work?"

"... I... am no longer writing. Do I need any more reason than that."

"For lots of reasons I guess, but the biggest right now is that my parents want me to learn some responsibility. Of course, I'm already plenty responsible, but I should  humor them anyways, right? Getting experience at a job will make it easier to apply someplace later on, too, and I want to be plenty ready once I'm about to graduate! I just like being busy, too. Idle hands are never good, don't you think?"

"Are you serious? Why wouldn't someone want a job?"

"Yes, but I'm asking why you want one."

"Honestly? I'm really. Really. Bored... though having a few extra bucks to upgrade my computer won't really hurt, either. Is that good enough? Or do I need to spill my guts about how I want to buy my mom flowers or some $@*%#?"

"Lichen."

"Oh--sorry! Thought you'd be cool with that, being a chocolate berry and all."

"LICHEN!"

"Jeez, don't be so sensitive!"

"... Your lamp is looking at me funny."

"Now, what would you say is your best, most employable quality?"

"Dedication."

"I have to pick one? Oh... I guess I'd have to say, my ability to think on my feet and improvise!"

"Well, I would probably say my dashing good loo--"

"Lichen, please, be serious."

"Fiiinnee... I guess I'd say, I can figure out just about anything--I learn quick, and I never forget."

"... Employable... None."

"Now, I want you to think about this next one very, very carefully. This is the most important question I will ask you, and I want you to be completely honest. There's no shame in the truth. I want to know...'

"Could someone trust you to keep a secret, if their life depended on it?"

With one question, it was as if Molly had suddenly zapped her interviewees to life. With the exception of Honeydew, they had all been unattentive and bored--but something in this question, and the very nature of it, caused their faces to fall into something Molasses rarely ever got to see: Pure, urgent sincerity.

"Yes." "Totally." "Completely." "Always."

They weren't going to win any prizes for Interviewee of the Year. In fact, most employers would probably turn green at what Molasses just endured--but no, not her. Where others would only see a waste of time, she saw exactly what she was looking for. There was a reason they were all unemployed, that they'd stoop low enough to accept a job at a coffee shop... but the way Molly saw it, their lack of social prowess gave them skills much more valuable to her.

Sure, they were a bunch of misfits, but they were misfits with something crucial in common. Something Molly's business couldn't survive without.

Molasses took a deep breath, a smile on her lips. "That's just what I wanted to hear."